It isn’t very often that I have a reason to post something wonderful. Last week a couple of survivors who grew up in Calvary Gospel Church finally received some justice. Rebecca Martin Byrd, who previously told her story here, was able to bring her abuser into court. We all celebrated with her and Dena, another of Glen Uselmann’s victims, as he was found guilty of all 5 counts brought against him!
The whole week was bittersweet. At times it was filled with pain and tears and the fear that comes with facing the demons of the past. The sweetness came from watching all of these brave women band together to gain justice for one of their friends. No, most of us will never see justice in our own cases but I think we all took a piece of this victory for ourselves. In joining together we showed them that they have not beaten us. Those little girls who were despised and abandoned in their pain were replaced by strong women forged in the furnace of adversity. Individually these women are amazing and when we work together we are an unstoppable force. I am proud to call them my friends and they are some of the only good things that came out of my time at Calvary Gospel.
More cases are on the horizon for the Wisconsin UPC district. I can only hope that justice will continue to be handed out to those who have caused harm. I know that some at Calvary Gospel see this as the church being under attack and some have even accused us of chasing older men when we were children. As if an 11-year-old girl would want a 29/30-year-old man. My hope for the church is that someday they will see that when they say, “God will judge” that maybe just maybe he already has. Maybe this is God’s judgment and not an attack on them from the children of their past. I know that all I wanted from them when I was a child was love and acceptance. Now I want nothing from them and I do not seek to hurt them. I only seek justice for all the wounded children created within their walls.
On June 14, 2022 David K Bernard General Superintendent of The United Pentecostal church announced on his Facebook page a church wide program called Safe Church. On upci.org they state “The UPCI stands for biblical morality and opposes any immoral or illegal actions such as child abuse, spousal abuse, sexual harassment, sexual immorality, and fraud. We take all allegations of wrongdoing very seriously.” They go on to state “The UPCI has limited ability to deal with situations involving criminal conduct, and thus in such cases you should contact the appropriate legal authorities… each local church is self-governing under the leadership of the pastor and church board. If you have a complaint against a member of a local UPCI church, contact the pastor and the chair of the church board. If you wish to file a complaint against a credentialed UPCI minister, you should contact the district superintendent where that minister resides.”
This policy along with the UPCI position paper on abuse and sexual misconduct would lead you to believe that they stand firmly against abuse and encourage members to go to local authorities as soon as a problem arises. The problem is when a state like Wisconsin has a loophole that says ministers are not required to report. What is missed is how UPCI members are groomed to believe that their pastors word is the final word on everything. What happens if you go to your pastor and they say they will handle it? Then nothing is done and you are also groomed to not bring the police into church business. Also what happens, like in my case, when your pastor is your district superintendent? What I am not seeing is David K Bernard instructing licensed ministers to change the way they teach church members. I believe he would say that each church is autonomous and therefore the UPCI cannot instruct them on these things just like the UPCI will not force churches to adopt their policy, they say they can only make recommendations. I call bull****. If they license ministers and at times remove licenses then they can require anything they want. They could say report all cases or lose your license.
All you have to do is read some of the social media comments about current cases to see where the church really stands. It has become clear that much like the Catholic Church the UPCI moves accused ministers around and is silent when calls are made for ministers to be removed because of wrong doing. It seems as if not much has changed regarding how things are really handled. I believe this is because the UPCI has not had an overhaul of their collective heart. When you have pastors’ wives saying things like..
Statements like this make it clear that compassion is not the primary concern with regards to victims.
I spent some time in David K Bernards comment section and tried to bring up the fact that there is a huge problem in the Madison Wisconsin church. He did not offer me any compassion and none of the other UPCI commenters really had much to say to me. When you spend time reading the comments most of what you see is people saying that pastor so and so is innocent! He is being falsely accused and the victim pursued him. It is the same no matter what case you look at. All this shows that across the membership they are firmly grounded in pastor/minister worship. At no point have I seen David K Bernard step in to rebuke these members. Usually the ones standing for the victims in these conversations are the other survivors. These survivors can be quickly dismissed as being backslidden lost souls whose cries for justice should be ignored for that reason.
Why does John Grant still have a license? Well I think I know what they would say, they would say because he has no victims. Truth be told he has many, many victims. Young people who trusted him to do what is right, not just what is called for by law. Pastors and other ministers should report and support survivors because it is moral and because it is right. Not just because Safe Church recommends it or because of the UPCI position paper. I firmly believe all of these “suggested” policies exist just to cover the UPCI in the public eye. It is window dressing. As I have asked in a previous post, where is the love? I would add to that compassion and kindness.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5: 22-23.
I do not see these fruits exhibited within the comments on social media or in the way the churches have handled things. What I see is church members hero worshipping pastors instead of coming alongside victims. I see nasty attitudes and one-upmanship in the comments and I don’t see David K Bernard stepping in to correct peoples bad behavior. It is clear he is respected and his words carry weight. If he were to speak out and make a statement about how people are behaving in the comments I believe he could make an impact. The current church looks an awful lot like Pharisees. In public on their website trying to appear so righteous but their hearts are rotten. When I watch how they behave regarding these issues I see the same mean victim blaming church I know so well from my childhood.
Surviving Church and Childhood 